I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
