Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
