No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
