do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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