ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
