I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
