youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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