My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
