That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
