you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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