It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
