so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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