Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
