His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
