i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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