the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
