so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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