I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
