Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
