sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
