I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
