Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
