get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
