So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
