i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
