Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
