why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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