So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
