he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
