I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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