I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
