I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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