I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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