if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
