The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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