He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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