even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
