Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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