i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
