Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
