Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
