he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
