You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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