we're blogging at a bar
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
