I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
