Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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