It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
