Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
