So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
