it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Less talking, more tequila
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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